Ladies, we’ve all been there, feeling a bit suspicious of partners and not knowing if he’s cheating or you’re just over-analysing!

 

As life goes people fall in and out of love and like it or not there are some people out there who wish to try and play ‘the game’, despite having a devoted partner at home.

 

Unfortunately, cheating is as rampant today as the chickenpox is at a four year old’s birthday party. This is unfortunate and totally avoidable if people were simply honest and left when they developed interest in another person, but sadly that’s ‘too tough’.

 

Here’s how to deal if you think your partner is cheating on you.

 

1. Don’t make assumptions

If you believe your loved one is cheating, don’t immediately assume it’s something to do with you. Whether you are concerned that you’re too clingy, worry too much, have put on weight, are not loving enough etc: chances are its not you — so stop it!

 

Suspecting your partner of cheating after an awkward encounter whilst out or a slightly fishy text/Facebook message does NOT make you the crazy girlfriend. You have every right to be concerned. It’s YOUR partner.

 

Bring up this concern with them and discuss it calmly. Maybe it was a misinterpretation. Or it was inappropriate, but your partner didn't realise it.

 

2. Gauge their reaction

This is a big one for me. If your partner goes from calm and collected to nuclear, chances are they are being defensive because they are hiding something!

 

If they have a handle on their emotions (and if they are guilty) they will attempt to do these things;

 

·      Make it seem like it’s all in your head

·      Try to distract you

·      Give vague, indirect answers

·      Play dumb

·      Play the drama card (“Oh, you don’t trust me, you don’t love me!”)

·      Say your insecurities are the cause of the confusion

 

If they stay calm, rational and loving, then there is a very good chance they haven’t cheated… Or you are dating a sociopath who shows no emotions.

Please, please, please guys — TRUST YOUR GUT. If it doesn’t feel right, chances are it’s not.

 

3. Don’t ignore hard evidence

If you think they are playing hooky, there’s going to be a trail left behind.

If you find a conversation (text, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc) or find they are on dating websites, guess what? That’s hard evidence.

 

They can argue until they are blue in the face, but you need to think like a lawyer. You can’t even compare hearsay (what they say) to hard evidence. If you find it, you need to decide what to do.

 

Here are your options.

 

1. Pretend you never saw it, make allowances time and time again, excusing everything bar actually catching them in your bed with someone else,

 

2. Get even, or

 

3. Leave.

 

The first option makes you a doormat. You will never be happy playing second fiddle to this hot girl or the next. (Remember: they aren’t sluts unless they actively pursue your man with full knowledge of you. Otherwise, it’s entirely your man’s fault!)

 

The second will result in a tit-for-tat relationship roller coaster, which will leave you exhausted, depressed and feeling used. Which just leaves the last…

 

We have all been there. There is nothing worse than someone getting one over on you, breaking your heart, confidence and self-esteem. But you need to stop looking at what you want right now and look at what you need later on!

 

I know it’s hard. And by God I know it hurts. Your chest is heavy, your mouth is dry and your legs cannot physically support your weight once you know the truth.

 

But what destroys you emotionally one day will make you even stronger the next – Mama Jordyn (Again)

 

Keep your chin up. Cheating isn’t love, it’s greed. Once you’re fabulous again, they might try to get you back. But a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

 

If they have done it once they WILL do it again. And if you got your man from another girl, who’s to guarantee he won’t do the same to you?