The Girl War

Why do we hate each other?

Girls criticising and disliking other girls for any reason is as common as emojis in a text. Almost every single one of us has experienced it at some point, and sadly, most of us have probably participated in it.

It is tradition in my friend group that if someone points out something positive about another girl’s appearance – “Wow, her tan is incredible!” – everyone else replies, “That bitch.” As much as we consider it to be just a funny joke, and I don’t actually dislike her for her incredible skin tone, sometimes I wonder: are we really kidding?

Samantha Brick, an English journalist, asserted in an article in the Daily Mail that women “hate her for being beautiful”. She lists numerous occasions where women have disliked her because they perceived her to be better looking. ‘Friends’ have decided to completely disown her because they don’t want her looks around their husbands. This essay went viral hours after it was published, leading to a tidal wave of abuse for Brick, with comments such as “No, love, women don't hate you because you are beautiful (which you aren't, really). They hate you because you are a smug, self-satisfied, deluded, vacuous idiot."

Forbes says that successful women terrify us because women through the ages have been taught not to be ambitious, goal-driven, or assertive and these women have done it anyway. Accordingly, we tear them down, telling each other how no man wants a woman with more interest in work than play.

It doesn’t take much searching to find article after article of woman discussing ‘hot girl problems’. While there hasn’t been much scientific research into the area, the question must be asked: why does this happen?

Brick’s self-drawn conclusion that her looks are what leads her astray in female relationships, the response to Brick’s article and the need to tear down successful, hard-working women all seem to suggest one answer; confidence. The discussion around a woman’s self-esteem or confidence in the media is incredible, and most point to the same thing – every women needs confidence. Its representation in almost all female magazines (self love i.e. love YOU for YOU!) has almost made it a currency.

Therefore, it’s something to fight over.

If I don’t have the confidence to wear that top why should she? That bitch.

If I don’t have the confidence to go to that job interview, despite how scary it might be, why should she? That bitch.

Of course not every girl is like this. Not every woman treats all the women in her life like this either. There are so many examples of awesome girl friendships who gave each other confidence, rather than drain it.

But it still seems to be the biggest problem amongst girls who don’t know each other. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been told by girls I’ve known of for quite a while, but only just met, “I hated you until I met you!”

Every time it leaves me stumped because it means that something gave them reason to straight up not like me, without knowing me at all. Whether it’s about looks, confidence, success, man candy, or anything else, we need to end the hate war.

Imagine how incredible we could feel if we all just loved each other!

How do you feel about the Girl War? Has anyone ever hated you for your looks or success? Have you ever disliked another girl because of theirs? Chat to us below!

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