Webster’s Dictionary defines a blurb as ‘a short description used to praise something (such as a book) so that people will want to buy it’. Please don’t try to buy me. I am not a book. I am a human being. Also, I am a writer. Technically I'm a journalist, but I'm awful at it because I am bad at telling the truth and reporting facts without blowing them unnecessarily out of proportion or becoming bitter about their banality. Instead I like to make people laugh and keep them entertained. I try to have a direct writing style so that YOU DON'T GET BORED WHILE READING. (Surprise capitals work well for that!) So do exclamation marks! 

 

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm don't really like talking about myself. I think because I absorbed a journalism textbook into my personality and now learning about other people is literally my favourite thing to do. I think in small ways, every interaction you have with another person gives you insight into writing for a wider audience so basically if we're ever in the same area, strike up a conversation so I can steal your writing skills. 

 

Anyway, back to the blurb thing, basically slavery is wrong so please do not attempt to purchase me through Klementine because it’s literally the opposite of that sort of site (unless of course they are having some sort of charity 'buy-a-man' night, in which case, bid wildly PAH-lease) 

 

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